Ahhhh!

I know that this may seem silly to some of you, but I am sick to my stomach right now.  It is very hard for me to admit this, but it appears that I have screwed up.  If you recall, I had to fill up my car on Friday.  I always use the pay at the pump when I have the kid with me because it is a pain to get the kids out and drag them into the store just to pay.  Well, I swiped my card and the pump said "See Attendant" and I was cold and tired and didn't want to bother with it, so I just hit cancel and went to a different gas station.  I didn't really think much more about it.  I figured that if the pump wasn't going to let me use the card, it wouldn't let anyone else either.  Well, today I got online and checked our banking account.  There are two charges on there (for a total of $58.84) from that gas station!  It appears that someone was able to get gas using my card after I left.  We called the bank and they said that there is nothing that they can do other than cancel our debit cards.  They said that we would have to dispute it with the store itself and that we would most likely be fighting a losing battle. 

So now I have to go to the bank after work and pick up a new debit card, memorize a new PIN (it's going to take me a while!), and we are out $59!!!  It just makes me so mad!  I guess I shouldn't have been lazy and just gotten the kids out of the car and gone in.  But seriously, have you ever had to get two toddlers into and out of a carseat???  It is like an Olympic sport or something!  It is not easy or fun.  I bet if the manager of the gas station had to do that, he would just give me the money back.  But the worst part about everything is the guilt that I feel.  I am so mad at myself!  Here we are trying to get on track with money and I just basically flush $60 down the drain.  I've been trying to tell myself that maybe the people that got gas needed it more than I do and that it was a huge blessing in their life, but unfortunately this hasn't gotten very far in making me feel better.  It works for like a second or two and then I go right back to kicking myself, over and over and over again.  Wonder how long before my butt starts to get sore?

I know that I should probably give you guys an update on how everything else is going, but honestly, I can't think about anything other than this stupid thing right now, so I'm not even going to try.  I hope you all can forgive me.  I promise to be off the pity party the next time I post.